


I Can't Play Anymore

by lauraesque



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: 3rd year AU, AU, Angst, Canon Compliant, Complete, Fluff and Angst, M/M, POV Third Person, also gays being gay under the stars, also yachi walks in on tsukiyama make out sesh, and that fluff, and yachi and tsukki tell them to get their asses in gear basically, but anyway hina and kags are giant dumb tsunderes, but not?, captain!hinata, i s2g yamaguchi isnt even embarassed, idrk, ish, its got that, short multichapter, since im a sap for cliches, someone tell tsukki and yams to stop making out instead of practicing, vicecaptain!kageyama
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-02
Updated: 2016-06-05
Packaged: 2018-07-11 17:46:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 7,123
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7063108
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lauraesque/pseuds/lauraesque
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's ridiculously difficult to jump high when your heart is heavy with feelings for your setter.</p><p>Includes what's in the tags~</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Heyyy! This is a short fic I wrote to celebrate one week off exams. The chapters are really short but will be updated daily over the next few days! I hope you have as much fun reading it as I did writing :)

“I’m fine,” Hinata grumbled, rolling his shoulders and wringing his wrists. Kageyama was not convinced.

“That’s the third time this week, Shou.” Kageyama arched an eyebrow, dubious. Hinata sighed. _I know. And you calling me that isn’t helping_. Hinata bent down to brush off his knees. He was lucky that they hadn’t been scrapped after his fall. “Am I tossing too high?” Kageyama frowned.

“No, no,” Hinata said, his head snapping upwards – which was a huge mistake, as he was met with Kageyama’s concerned and pretty and caring blue eyes. Perhaps a year ago, they would’ve been filled with anger. And he would definitely be called ‘dumbass’ instead of ‘Shou’. Maybe that would’ve been better. Maybe then, his jump would still have its spring: not weighed down by his full heart or his constantly buzzing mind. Maybe then he wouldn’t end up crumpled on the floor time after time with his heart racing because _Kageyama cares_. “It’s nothing you did.”

Lies. It was everything Kageyama does. It was how he smiles, and how he looks at Hinata when they win a match. It was his tosses and it was his voice when they’re out of breath from racing down and up the hills of Miyagi. It was that he lets Hinata hang onto his coat when they’re worming their way through crowds and grabs things Hinata can’t reach for him with only a polite nod and a knowing smile. It was the bump of his nose and the large prideful strides in his walk. But worst of all, it was how his silky black hair might feel twisted in Hinata’s fingers, and how it might feel to press Kageyama's palm flat against Hinata’s own, and how his heartbeat might quicken against Hinata’s ear if he were to hold him close. It was how soft his lips would feel against his own. _It was everything Kageyama Tobio does, and everything Kageyama Tobio is_.

“Maybe you should take a break,” There was a gentleness in Kageyama’s voice that made Hinata’s breath catch and stick in his throat like syrup. He nodded vigorously.

“Alright brats, quit staring. Your Captain isn’t feeling too good at the moment but that doesn’t mean I’m about to let you slack off…”  
Kageyama’s voice echoed through the hall, as if it was chasing Hinata while he hurried towards the bathroom. His chest felt tight and his ears were ringing with the words, ‘ _Maybe you should take a break’_ , or more accurately: his ears were ringing with the sound of Kageyama’s voice. _This has to stop,_ he told himself as he scrubbed at his eyes with water in his closed fists until their corners were red and raw. _Get yourself together, Shouyou._ _You’re Karasuno’s Captain and Ace_. _And you’re Kageyama’s friend. That’s all there is to it._  He knew it was a lie, for him anyway. But it was all he had.

With renewed determination, Hinata marched back into the gym. Kageyama hadn’t noticed him. Good. He sat on the bench and smiled at the shy first-year next to him, who returned his greeting with a small nod. Kageyama noticed him eventually though; it was inevitable. A look of annoyance flashed over his face, turning his defined features dark.

“Shouyou!” Kageyama barked, and Hinata startled. The first year, too, awkwardly shuffled along the bench and then dashed to the locker room. Kageyama took no notice. “Take a break means ‘go home’, dumbass.” He looked angry for a moment longer, but was soon defeated by Hinata’s disarming nervousness. “It’s alright, you know,” Kageyama audibly softened as he lowered himself onto the bench beside Hinata. “I know you’ve been having a tough time with studying lately.”

Hinata’s eyes flickered back to Kageyama, but the setter wasn’t looking back at him. No, Kageyama’s eyes were fixated on his hands, inspecting the nails he so often sat tending to with a nail file while Hinata talked the team through training regimes and spring camps that Kageyama had already heard and approved of. Hinata couldn’t help but think how snugly his small hands would fit into Kageyama’s large, square ones. Or how the hardened pads of his thumbs might tickle him if they swept beneath Hinata’s jawbone and across his eyelids. _No, no no. None of that._ Hinata scolded himself mentally. He was brought back to attention when Kageyama turned back to face him and caught him staring, causing a becoming pink blush to dust Kageyama’s cheeks.

“W-well,” Kageyama stammered, recomposing himself. _Cute._ Hinata watched, mouth agape. “I wanted you to know... I’ve got your back. Same as always.” Kageyama lifted a hand to give Hinata’s orange mop and affectionate ruffle, his hand lingering just a little too long among the wisps. Hinata resisted the desire to sigh and lean into Kageyama’s touch. When Kageyama finally removed his hand, Hinata felt a chill at the loss of warm contact, a deep winter settling in his bones.

“Thanks, Kageyama,” said Hinata with a half-hearted smile, which Kageyama reciprocated with a nod.

  
“C’mon. It’s the Second Years’ turn to clean up. I’ll walk you home.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I somehow managed to post the story twice yesterday...oops. AO3 was playing up a bit, plus the fact that it was actually 4am. Haha, this is my life now. I hope my editing was okay... Anyway, thanks for the kudos! Hope you enjoy this next chapter, I'm plunging us straight into the angst. This chapter was the shortest, so maybe I'll post another one later!

It was a cool afternoon in Miyagi. The slowly setting sun perched on the horizon like a watchful crow, glaring down at the two boys who were slowly trundling down the mountainous path. One walked his bike with quick, short steps while the other took slow, long strides, his gait calm and purposeful. Unconsciously, they found themselves synching to the same speed no matter what they did.

Hinata spoke quietly about the upcoming Miyagi prefectures, his usual amicable manner replaced with a sombre one as he tried not to blush under Kageyama’s attentive gaze. How long had he been like this? When had it gotten so hard? Hinata couldn’t remember how he fell in love with Kageyama. He always thought the moment he fell in love with someone would have been clear; like if they brushed hands accidentally, or when they lay beneath the stars on a quiet night, when they woke up beside him in the morning and blinked slowly at him, or when they yanked him beneath their umbrella on a rainy grey day. But no. There were no romantic clichés. The truth was, and Hinata knew, that he had fallen so slowly and irrevocably in love with Kageyama that it would be impossible to pinpoint any select moment. Life wasn’t a series of romantic snapshots; It was a gradually turning reel. And maybe if you were to take the reel apart, and pour over every frame, you’d see Hinata offer up his heart to Kageyama piece-by-piece. But Hinata didn’t know how to take the reel apart. Which was a terrible shame for him, because if he could work out how he fell in love with his friend, maybe he could work out how to undo it.

“Hey, Shou, careful!” Kageyama’s voice pierced Hinata’s train of thought, but it was already too late. Hinata smacked right into the lamp post, the loud ‘ _thrung'_  of metal resonated through the air, causing Kageyama to wince. “Hinata! Dumbass!” he shouted, jolting to catch Hinata’s bike before it crashed onto the pavement. If Hinata’s head wasn’t throbbing, and blood wasn’t trickling over his lips like a scarlet fountain from his nose, he might have at smiled at the nostalgia of the situation. Panting heavily for no apparent reason, Kageyama dropped to his knees to where Hinata was yet again crumpled on the floor. He brought a tentative hand to the already-reddening blotch on Hinata’s forehead.

“You should pay attention to where you’re going, Shouyou. What were you even thinking about?” Kageyama grumbled, but more to himself than to Hinata, and the brown-eyed boy didn’t reply. How could he, when Kageyama’s face was so close? The light pressure of his hand against Hinata’s forehead made his stomach knot, and his breath caught in his throat as Kageyama tilted his chin upwards to inspect the damage to his nose. Their lips were so close now; Hinata could feel Kageyama’s unsteady breath warming his neck. He shivered.

“You’re cold?” Kageyama said, frowning at his friend’s sudden shudder.

“I’m fine,” Hinata breathed, only because he couldn’t shake his head, cupped in Kageyama’s hands.

“No, you’re not ' _fine'_ , you’re drenched in blood. Let’s just go back to mine. It’s closer, and you’re in desperate need of some tissues and a shower. My mum can drive you home later.”

Hinata felt his face get hot.

“I _am_ fine! Stop doting on me!” Hinata jerked away from Kageyama, immediately regretting his harsh choice of words when he saw the look of hurt that crossed Kageyama’s face. But he couldn’t stop himself. The words had already spilled from his mouth, a steady-flowing waterfall of everything that had been confined in his heart for the past few months. Everything that had been weighing down his jumps and eating up his mind.

“I can’t do this anymore Kageyama,” Hinata’s sob was muffled as he dragged his jacket sleeve across his face. The black fabric became smudged with crimson and saltwater. “I can’t play anymore.”

“Shou-”

“I can’t play with you anymore,” whispered Hinata. Kageyama’s deep eyes widened. He only watched in shock as Hinata staggered to his bike and swung his leg over it, sniffling as he made several futile attempts to clear his vision of tears.

“I understand,” Kageyama murmured to the spot where Hinata had been. But Hinata was already pedalling away, the rush of wind in his face silencing any quiet plea from Kageyama, and blurring each and every slow-moving tear that trickled painfully over the setter’s sharp cheekbones.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you once again for the kudos and positive feedback! This chapter is more angst, honestly. Another extra short one too, just our lovely setter thinking about things. Soz. Enjoy!

Hinata knew. Of course he did. Kageyama hadn’t exactly been trying particularly hard to hide his less-than-platonic (or, should he say, more-than-platonic) feelings for Karasuno’s captain. Even Tsukishima drew up his eyebrows at the adoring look Kageyama often shot Hinata on and off the court, only to hold his hands up defensively when Kageyama struck him with a frown.

Kageyama tossed his volleyball in the air and caught it instinctively. He didn’t even need to look at it; he just stared down at the grass of his garden contemplatively. Part of him had expected this. He knew in his heart that Hinata’s consistently failing jumps were due to more than school-related worries. Hinata must’ve felt so uncomfortable around Kageyama… knowing that… knowing that…. Kageyama tasted blood on his lips. He ran his tongue over the small indents he had made with his teeth.

_I can’t play with you anymore._

Of course. Hinata must have been disgusted. Kageyama growled in frustration with himself. Why had he done those things? Why did he try so hard to shelter Hinata? Why did he always have to sit so close to him, pat his back when he was sick with nerves, give him supportive nods whenever he had to give the team a morale boost? Why had he held Hinata’s face in his hands? How close was he to pressing his lips against Hinata’s? What would he have tasted of? _Well, blood, probably_. Kageyama thought, smacking his own bloodied lips. He growled in annoyance again. _Getting off topic here_.

The real question was what Kageyama was going to do about practice on the next day. Usually, Kageyama would rather be hit by a small truck than miss valuable training time. But this was different. If Kageyama was the reason that Hinata wasn’t playing well, didn’t he owe it to the team to stay away? Hinata was their Captain. Their number ‘1’. And Kageyama… well, he was just Hinata’s number ‘2’. Kageyama sighed. ‘1’ and ‘2’ were great, but it was so much easier when they were ‘10’ and ‘9’. Back when Hinata was just some spritely dumbass who he was forced to spend time with through circumstance. How things had changed.

Kageyama realised something. If he couldn’t play with Hinata, he didn’t feel like playing. The volleyball, scuffed from years of tossing and spiking and pounding into the ground, rolled away from Kageyama’s feet. Forgotten.

Never in his life had Kageyama not felt like playing volleyball. When he was younger, he couldn’t wait to get home so he could nag his parents to help him practice tossing. When he joined his first team, he always arrived to practice 20 minutes early and eager to help set up. He lived and breathed Volleyball. There had been nothing else.

Until _him_. Until Hinata Shouyou’s vibrant sunbeams had seeped through his skin and touched his heart. Until he started hearing Hinata’s voice in the sound of the rain; feeling his breath in the wind on his face; and seeing, not stars in Hinata’s eyes, but Hinata’s eyes among the stars. And when Kageyama thought about winning matches, he no longer thought of trophies or recognition, not his opponents’ frustration, or even staying on the court. He just thought of Hinata’s smile. The one he did when they won was special. Hinata smiled a lot, but after they won a match his smile… God, it was indescribable. It glowed with the warmth of a sunrise, and brought the same extraordinary feeling of hope with it too. When Kageyama thought of Hinata – that smile was what he thought of. And it made his heart stop, and the corners of his lips twitch, and filled him with an intense _love_ he hadn’t thought he would ever be capable of feeling.

Kageyama wanted Hinata to smile like that all the time.

  
And that is why, when practice rolled around the next day – Kageyama just didn’t feel like playing.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next couple of chapters are a lot of dialogue (seriously, nearly every line has dialogue ;-; I hope it isn't overwhelming and doesn't disrupt the flow to much) and a few of the characters and there will be a few different POVs. Here we see a little bit of the relationships between Yachi and the others, I like to think about how she'd grow to be more comfortable with them - since she was so shy in the beginning! I hope Tsukishima doesn't seem OOC. It's hard to balance their canon characters with what development I'd like them to have over their 3 years in the volleyball club. Anyway, do enjoy this update, see you soon :)

“They _both_ called in sick,” Yachi said with a sorry shake of her head, making her blonde hair bob animatedly. Coach Ukai frowned.

“Seriously? That’s… unlike them.” He ran a hand over his stubble thoughtfully.

“Yeah,” sighed Yachi “This is the first time they’ve ever missed practice.”

Ukai hummed, “Well, they must be really ill then. I guess we can let them off.” He chuckled.

“Yeah… Ill.” Yachi frowned. She had seen the two in class that day, and they seemed fit enough. What _was_ odd, was that she hadn’t seen them eating lunch on the roof together like they usually did. “I just… need to see Tsukishima… about some… tosses,” Yachi mumbled, tiptoeing as she scanned the gym in search of the familiar tall blond’s face.

“Tosses?” Ukai asked after Yachi, but she was already scurrying off to the clubroom. “Tsukishima is a middle blocker…” Ukai said, confused but not surprised by Yachi’s odd antics. It wasn’t unusual for the girl to spout nonsense when she was thinking about something else.

“Kids…” Ukai sighed as he turned his attention back to the first and second years who were practicing diving receives while they complained loudly.

“Tsukishima? Are you in there?” Yachi called, before cautiously opening the door. Tsukishima apparently hadn’t heard her though.

Yachi’s eyes widened comically, and a crimson blush flooded her face. “I-I didn’t mean to interrupt!” She squeaked, causing Tsukishima to leap away from Yamaguchi as if the poor boy had just tased him. Yamaguchi threw his head back in surprise, smashing it into a locker door behind them.

“Oww,” Yamaguchi whined, running his hand through his already dishevelled hair, and then “ _Crap!_ ” when he saw the huge dent he had left in the hollow metal.

“This… better be important, Yachi,” grunted Tsukishima, as if his face wasn’t cherry red and Yamaguchi’s lips weren’t swollen. Yachi let out another squeak and nodded.

“Can I talk to you for a moment, Tsukishima?” Yachi twiddled her thumbs nervously.

“Sure,” Tsukishima shrugged, and then turned back to Yamaguchi. “You sort out that locker, Tadashi. And your… hair.”

“Okay, Tsukki. Sorry Tsukki!” Smiling bashfully, Yamaguchi returned to trying to smooth out the obvious dent in the metal. Yachi felt invasive; seeing the look of pure fondness and adoration pass over Tsukishima’s eyes as he watched the pinch sever struggle in a futile attempt to flatten his hair. She politely turned her head when Tsukishima leaned over to plant a kiss on Yamaguchi’s cheek, eliciting a pink blush that dusted over his freckles endearingly.

“So… you and Yamaguchi?” Yachi asked as they treaded down the steps leading away from the clubroom.

“Me and Yamaguchi,” repeated Tsukishima. He didn’t have to look down at Yachi to tell she was beaming.

“I’m happy for you two.”

“Thanks…” Tsukishima mumbled. “But I’d appreciate it if you would keep this from the rest of the team.”

“Of course!” Yachi nodded with vigour. They were quiet for a second. “But…” there was an uncharacteristic teasing in Yachi’s voice that made Tsukishima stop in his tracks. Yachi walked a couple of steps ahead of him and then spun on her heels, arms pinned behind her back and smile positively wicked. “If you two skip practice to make out in the clubroom again, it is my _duty_ as manager to report it to the coach.”

Tsukishima might as well have been a beetroot. “Y-yes, Ma’am…” he spluttered, avoiding Yachi’s vexing gaze. Yachi let out a wicked cackle. Tsukishima, in an attempt to recompose himself, adjusted his glasses. He made a mental note not to get on Yachi’s bad side.

“So what was it you wanted to see me about?” asked Tsukishima, quickly changing the subject. He still had _some_ dignity he wanted to hang on to.

“Right…” Yachi’s voice fell as worry clouded over her face. “Kageyama and Hinata _both_ called in sick today.”

Tsukishima frowned. “So? They probably both got colds or something. I wouldn’t be surprised. Those dumbasses are always running in the rain, among other idiotic activities.”

“Haven’t you got any idea?” sighed Yachi. “You know for well how terribly Hinata has been playing this week.”

Tsukishima groaned. He knew.

“Why can’t they just _talk_ to eachother?”

“You’re one to talk, _Tsukki_. How long did it take for you to confess your feelings for _your_ best friend?”

Tsukishima choked on her words. “Well. I suppose I asked for that one,” he admitted. Yachi hummed. “What am I supposed to do about it though?”

“Well, can’t you talk to Kageyama?”

Tsukishima squinted at her. “Why me?” he asked suspiciously.

“Because… well… _you know_.” Yachi grasped the air for words she couldn’t muster.

“No, I _don’t_ know.” Tsukishima folded his arms.

“Well, you’re… you’re…”

“I’m what?”

“Similar!” Yachi threw up her arms in frustration. Tsukishima mimicked her action.

“@GOD WHAT DID I DO TO BE LIKENED TO KING ASSHOLE KAGEYAMA?!”

“Look, I’m going to talk to Shouyou after practice, okay? Can’t you just talk to Kageyama?”

No response.

“Pleeeeeeaseeeee, Tsukishima!”

Tsukishima raised an eyebrow.

“Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaseeeeee!”

Tsukishima’s nostrils flared as he sighed angrily through his nose.

“Alright!” Yachi very nearly screamed, causing a flock of crows to flee from a nearby telephone line. Tsukishima watched as they spilled across the sky like a spray of black ink. “I’ll give you _one free pass_ to make out with Yamaguchi instead of going to practice!”

“Deal. Can I use it now?”

“NO!”

  
Yachi huffed. She had a feeling this _tsukishima x yamaguchi_ thing was going to work out poorly for her, in the long-run.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello once again! This chapter reveals a little about the friendship between Hinata and Yachi. It also has a little bit of the cutie Natsu! I feel like she's actually way more mature than I wrote her, but I wanted it to be cute, so never mind that. I'll probably upload the next chapter quickly, because I feel like it's really a parallel to this one and I wont most readers to experience them as such. Anyway, as always, I hope you enjoy this!

“Hi there, Natsu! Is Shouyou home?” Yachi had to crouch slightly to speak to the small redhead.

“Yep!” came her assault on Yachi’s eardrums. “He’s in bed! He was eating all the ice cream, so I cried and then he gave it to me! Want some?” Natsu held out the pot to Yachi with her small chubby hands. Her face was more chocolate than Natsu.

“No thanks, Natsu.” Yachi reached into her bag for a pack of tissues. “I’m just here to see Shouyou,” she explained as she dabbed at Natsu’s mouth. The small girl squealed and tried to wriggle free from Yachi’s advances.

“Hitoka!” Natsu whined as Yachi pulled away, crumpling the tissue and shoving it in her bag.

“All better!” Yachi laughed, and tapped Natsu’s nose with a small ‘ _boop_ ’. Natsu stuck her tongue out and made a ‘ _bleh_ ’ noise, to which Yachi responded with a gasp of mock horror.

“MAAAAAAAMMMMM!” Natsu suddenly screamed. Yachi covered her ears but it was too late. She smiled at the child through the tears of pain in her eyes. _Just like her brother_. “Hitoka came to see Shouyou!” Natsu pointed at Yachi excitedly.

“Ah, Yachi! It’s so good to see you!” Hinata’s mother smiled just as brightly as him.   
“Hinata has been cooped up in his room eating ice cream and moping all afternoon. I was hoping you’d pop in to cheer him up.”

“Of course, Mrs. Hinata.” Yachi bowed politely. A wide grin crept over Hinata’s mother’s features, the corner of her eyes crinkling and a dimple forming on her left cheek. It was the warm, aged smile of someone who had been smiling for almost too long. Mrs. Hinata shuffled back into the kitchen, shooing Natsu along as she went. The small redhead skipped across the hall, dodging cracks between the floorboards. Yachi toed off her shoes and padded along the corridor towards Hinata’s room.

“Shouyou?” Yachi called after Hinata had failed to respond to her persistent knocking. She was, admittedly, paranoid of some kind of repeat of the day’s earlier events. Not that it was possible. But still. You could never be too careful. “Shouyou, it’s me: Hikota. I’m coming in.”

“Go away,” came a muffled voice from the mound of duvet on the bed.

“Y’know…” Yachi sighed as she bent down to pick up two empty tubs of double chocolate-chip ice cream from the floor and dispose of them in Hinata’s wastebasket; along with the tissue she had used to wipe Natsu’s face with earlier. “Kageyama wasn’t at practice today either.” Yachi perched on the edge of Hinata’s bed.

Hinata lowered the duvet slightly to peer up at her, his face sweet and childlike as usual. He blinked owlishly. “He wasn’t?”  
Yachi shook her head and smiled gently at the ace.   
“Why?”

Yachi hummed thoughtfully. She shifted further onto Hinata’s bed and drew her legs beneath her, dainty hands resting on her knees. “Well, don’t you think you were a little unfair to him yesterday?”

Hinata sprung up and threw off his sheets, which consequently soared over Yachi’s head. A strained ‘ _Shouyou!’_ sounded from the large burrito.

“Oh, sorry Hitoka.” Hinata moved to unwrap his friend, and she emerged with a dramatic gasp. “How did you know?” Hinata cocked his head, his unruly orange curls flopping to one side.

“I didn’t actually. Just a good guess,” Yachi admitted. Hinata groaned; why did his friend have to be so smart? “So, what did you say to him?”

“I…” Hinata shied from her percipient gaze. “I told him I couldn’t play with him anymore…” he mumbled.

“You did _what_?!” shrieked Yachi before tossing a cushion that hit Hinata square in the jaw, drawing a loud ‘ _oof_ ’ from the sullen redhead.

“It’s true though, Hitoka…” Hinata sighed, glancing towards the wall in some effort to look aloof. “I _can’t_ play with Tobio anymore.”

“Do you call him ‘Tobio’ to his face?” Yachi’s voice was quiet, encouraging. A quiet invitation to confidence.

Hinata’s cheeks flooded pink. “N-no…” he stammered.

“You should,” said Yachi, “I think that would make him happy.” Yachi leaned over and gave Hinata’s arm a reassuring pat. “So, what else did you say? Did you say why?”

Hinata hid his face in the covers. He was beginning to realise the shame of the things he had said. “I told him he was doting on me too much...”

“Hinata!” Yachi squawked. “That had to hurt.”

“Don’t…” Hinata whined into the duvet. He slowly raised his gaze to Yachi’s, relaxing just a little when he saw the softness of her expression. “It’s just… it’s- I mean, It’s so hard to be around him Yachi!”

“Why?” Yachi prodded gently.

“I don’t know…”

“I think you do.”

“No, I don’t.”

“ _Yes_ , you do.”

“You’re right,” Hinata exhaled, “I do know. It hard, because it hurts my heart because I can’t have him. Because I want more than what we are. It’s selfish and stupid but I can’t help it, Hitoka.”

“Shouyou, that’s not a good reason to avoid your vice-captain and best friend for the rest of your life.”

“Yes, it is.” Hinata squeaked, shrinking back into his covers. “How would you know, Hitoka? How would you know how it feels to be in love with someone you can never be with?”

Yachi turned away from Hinata. Her teeth sank into her lips in a way not unlike how Hinata’s head sank into his pillow. She thought of a bespectacled girl with silky dark hair and a smile that reminded Yachi of daisies and the taste of her favourite strawberry flavoured macaroons; She thought of the postcard that had arrived from Tokyo the other week.

“Shouyou… I may just be the leading advisor on being in love with someone you can’t have.”

Hinata blinked owlishly at her. “Sorry… Hitoka.”

“S’okay.” Yachi plastered on a smile, but Hinata saw its inauthenticity and immediately scolded himself for being so insensitive. “It’s not too late for you though, Shouyou. How do you know Kageyama doesn’t feel the same?”

“…Because, well, why would he?” Hinata shrugged “He’s so… ‘GWAH!!!’ and I’m so ‘bwah…’”

Yachi’s laugh sounded like a canary in Hinata’s room. Soft and sing-song. Never ill-willed: Always sweet. Just like the girl herself.

“I know for certain Kageyama doesn’t think that.”

“He doesn’t?”

Yachi shook her head. Hinata was defeated by her disarming smile.

“Look, I’m not saying you have to profess your love to him or anything. Just… don’t shut him out, okay? Don’t break his heart, Shouyou.”

“Thanks, Hitoka,” said Hinata, the blush that coated his cheeks pleasant, rather than awkward.

Yachi pulled Hinata into a tight hug, and he easily relaxed into her embrace. Yachi smelt of strawberry shampoo and home. She gave his hair an affectionate ruffle before pulling back slowly.

“I gotta go, It’ll be dark soon. Just… think about it, okay?” Yachi said, and Hinata nodded.   
  
“Also, Shouyou,” Yachi pointed to the large purple blotch on Hinata’s head, “how did you get that bruise?”

Hinata’s face flooded pink, the colour stretching up to the tips of ears. Yachi giggled archly. She winked, then turned on her heels to leave Hinata alone with his thoughts and his blankets.

Hinata listened to Yachi bid his mother goodbye, followed by the slam of their front door, and then cocooned himself in his warm duvet once again. His orange hair spilled across his pillow, like wild vines twisting from treetops. He let his eyes flutter shut.

  
_I’m so tired of being sore, and I’m already missing you._


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter makes me laugh, honestly. I'd like Tsukishima to give me a talk like this. I hope you like it!

“Oi, King! I know you’re in there!” Tsukishima bellowed, knocking on the setter’s door once more for good measure.

Kageyama shuffled towards the door. He slowly, painfully, _cautiously_ opened the door. He looked blinkingly at Tsukishima. Tsukishima blinked back.

Kageyama shut the door.

“Kageyama let me in!” demanded Tsukishima, impatiently rapping his knuckles on the oaken door yet again.

“Fuck off!” was Kageyama’s growl of a response.

“Look, I know you don’t want me here, but Yachi sent me, and you know how _upset_ she gets when-“

Kageyama re-emerged.

“I brought milk.” Tsukishima held out the grocery bag to Kageyama; He had had a premonition that this mission might involve a bribery.

“ _Fine,_ ” Kageyama snatched the bag from Tsukishima’s hands. He turned back into his house, gesturing over his shoulder for Tsukishima to follow him.

“So,” Kageyama, who was already pouring himself a glass of milk from what Tsukishima had brought, grunted. “Just say what you need to say and get out of here.” He watched Tsukishima, eyes narrowed as he peered over his glass.

Tsukishima sighed. He decidedly removed his glasses from his face and rubbed his eyes, before setting them neatly on the counter. “So, what happened with you and Hinata?” he asked; straight to the point.

“Do you always have to be so blunt?” said Kageyama between gulps of milk.

Tsukishima shrugged. “I see no need for pretences.”

“Well, I guess you’re not wrong there,” Kageyama’s breath formed droplets of condensation against his cool glass. “There’s not much to it, really. We had a fight.” Kageyama made a vague gesture with his free hand. “Hinata told me that he couldn’t play volleyball with me anymore, so… it made sense to skip practice today.”

“Really? Hinata said that?” Tsukishima thrummed; he had suspected it was Kageyama who was being difficult – not Hinata. “Did he say anything to indicate why?”

Kageyama huffed, his cheeks reddening. Clearly, he did not want to be talking to Tsukishima about this. “He basically just smashed into a pole, told me that I coddle him too much and that he couldn’t play volleyball with me anymore, then left.”

Tsukishima whistled. “That’s a load and a half. You do coddle him too much, though.” Kageyama sent him a menacing look, though it wasn’t quite clear to Tsukishima without his glasses on. He held up his hands defensively. “Hey, hey – just my opinion.”

Kageyama grunted and turned his attention back to his milk.

“But, still. I find it strange.”

Kageyama frowned. “What’s so strange?”

“Hm, it’s just, Hinata always seems to really enjoy your coddling.”

A soft blush swept over Kageyama’s cheekbones. Tsukishima wondered why so many people seemed to find this blushing idiot menacing. “It would seem strange for him to just stop liking it.” Tsukishima gently prodded, slowly edging Kageyama towards the answer.

“Well…” Kageyama was turned away, unable to meet Tsukishima’s honey-like eyes. “He probably realised what it meant,” he muttered, the red on his cheeks darkening, “and was grossed out, or whatever.”

A small ‘pfft’ of air hissed through Tsukishima’s teeth, and he leaned forward with his arms crossed on the counter, so he was directly opposite Kageyama. “If you really think that, then you’re even stupider than I thought, King,” he said, only the slightest undertone of mockery audible in his voice.

Kageyama was too embarrassed to retort. Instead, he pushed himself off the counter and turned to replace the milk in the fridge.

“Do you seriously think that little of Hinata?”

“What?” Kageyama snapped, his head whipping around to face Tsukishima.

“Well, do you really think Hinata is such a terrible person that he would turn away his best friend just because, what, you’re gay?” Tsukishima’s voice was probing. It made Kageyama want to scream and hide in a pit somewhere, and not have to think about anything.

“No! Just that… well, wouldn’t you be uncomfortable if your best friend had feelings for you?”

Tsukishima snorted, “No.” _Oh, Kageyama. If only you knew._

“Oh…” Kageyama looked positively crestfallen. All the confliction and worry and awkwardness was gone from his face, leaving him with just a numbing sadness and the realisation that he probably hadn’t been very fair to his best friend. “I guess it was wrong of me to assume that, huh?”

“You think?” Tsukishima scoffed.

Kageyama narrowed his eyes at him. “Why did you come here anyway? Don’t pretend it was for my sake.”

“Well,” Tsukishima sighed, in a matter-of-factly kind of way. He stretched out his arms and then reached for his glasses, sliding them onto his nose neatly. “I get a free pass to make out with Yamaguchi instead of going to practice.”

  
“Oh,” said Kageyama, opening his front door to let Tsukishima out into the cold. Then, “ _Oh!_ ” when realisation finally hit him, a couple minutes after Tsukishima had left.

 

_Lucky bastard._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SO THE NEXT CHAPTER IS THE LAST ONE! Ah, it's all gone so quickly ;-; I hope you're all excited; It'll be out tomorrow! See you then!


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here goes... I really hope you enjoy this final chapter. It's been a bit of a ride, but we made it! I feel pretty happy with how things turned out. Thank you to you all.

Thud. Hinata blinked slowly. Thud. He sat up in his bed and pawed at his eyes with balled fists. Thud.

“Whaaaat?” he yawned. There was another thud. Hinata turned to face the source of the noise, which turned out to be a volleyball crashing repeatedly into his window. It took him a few seconds to actually register it.

Hinata, while simultaneously struggling to wrestle his window open, growled, “Kageyama, what the heck!”  
The night air hit him; a cool gust of wind carrying with it the smell of grass and the sweetness of Kageyama’s gesture. “What are you doing?” he asked, his voice far softer this time.

Kageyama held up the volleyball. “Come spike a few?”

Kageyama’s face was both softened and highlighted in the cool moonlight. His hair, always so dark and silky, seemed to glow, and his deep eyes that reflected the moonbeams seemed to plead with Hinata through the darkness.

Hinata sighed; He knew he couldn’t say no. He stepped back from the window, gently pulling the shutters closed behind him. Kageyama’s breath hitched. Hinata crept across the hallway, his hand skittering across the wall like a spider as he felt his way through the dark. He toed on his sneakers and fumbled through his mother’s coat pocket until his hands curled around the sharp metal of the house key. Ever-so-gently, he nudged open the door and slipped out. Kageyama almost didn’t hear him, the action was so nearly silent.

One eyebrow raised questioningly, Kageyama asked, “Have you done this before, Shou?”

“Shut up,” Hinata hissed, as he quietly fit the key into its lock. Turning it slowly, he looked back over his shoulder at Kageyama. He really did look beautiful in the moonlight. Hinata was glad that his blush wasn’t visible through the darkness. He pocketed the key and nodded at Kageyama, who in turn nodded back and spun to lead the way to a nearby clearing.

“Here,” he said, dropping his rucksack on the ground with a dull thud. “You ready?”

They had no net, and they had no court. But, concealed in the blackness of the night, Hinata felt at ease with Kageyama. Every time the ball shot over to him in a perfect arch, Hinata was able to spike it neatly and cleanly and fiercely into the ground. If Kageyama didn’t know any better, he might have thought that whatever was bothering Hinata had gone away.

Their pace quickened gradually, until eventually they were spiking and tossing and leaping with all the intensity of a real match.

“Shouyou,” Kageyama panted, dragging a clammy hand across his glimmering forehead, “you’ve been jumping just fine tonight.”

Hinata rummaged through Kageyama’s rucksack until he found a bottle of water. He took a swig, then tossed it to Kageyama, who caught it in his left hand. “I know,” he said, as Kageyama chugged.

Kageyama’s pulled the bottle from his puckered lips with a loud ‘ _smack_ ’ that seemed to resonate through the open air of the clearing. “Why is that?” he whispered.

“I don’t know,” came Hinata’s hoarse reply. Kageyama tucked his bottle back in the side pocket of his bag, then sank to the grassy floor.

“I hate it when you lie to me, Shou.”

_Shou_. That nickname. Hinata thought it might be the death of him.

“I know. I’m sorry.” Hinata settled himself on the grass, a few feet from Kageyama. “Can’t I just tell you when I’m ready?”

Kageyama edged closer to him, closing the gap between them like those few inches meant nothing at all. He glanced down at Hinata, taking in the curvatures of his cheekbones. His lips, adorned with a tight cupids-bow. Partially hidden by bouncy orange curls, the purple blotch on his forehead. Everything about him, he pinned it to his mind.  
 “Please, can’t you just tell me now?” Kageyama’s voice had the feeble crackling of someone who was about to cry.

_Just… don’t shut him out, okay? Don’t break his heart, Shouyou._

Yachi’s words echoed, a curse in the back of Hinata’s mind. _Don’t break his heart_. There was nothing Hinata wanted to do less.

“Okay,” Hinata gulped, and forced himself to close what was left of the gap between him and Kageyama. Their arms were pressed against each other. Only two layers, the thin fabric of their t-shirts, separated them now. “Being around you is really hard.”

Kageyama looked down at Hinata, small and quivering in the cold beside him. “I know.”

Hinata’s eyes widened. “You do?”

“Yeah. I’m sorry.”

But Kageyama didn’t know.

A sudden and heavy silence fell over them like a thick blanket. But it was more comforting than suffocating. Hinata allowed his head to slump onto Kageyama’s shoulder, who moved his arm to accommodate the redhead. If Hinata was just a little closer, then maybe he would’ve heard how Kageyama’s heart raced beneath his touch, and maybe then he’d know the truth. But this was the closest that either of them would be for that moment, and it wasn’t close enough.

“I wish it could stay like this,” Kageyama’s voice tore through the night. Even the crickets seemed to quieten at the sound. Hinata looked up at him, shiny brown eyes round and questioning. “…Well, we’re probably going to different colleges, aren’t we?”

“Kageyama…” Hinata whispered. His orange curls whipped around in the wind, tickling Kageyama’s neck. “Don’t say that. We both registered for TIU, didn’t we? Who’s to say what will happen, yeah?”

Kageyama laughed breathily. “I guess you’re right,” he said, “How will you beat me if we’re on the same volleyball team again, though?”

Hinata gnawed his lip thoughtfully before beaming up at Kageyama. He laughed, “I guess I don’t care about that anymore, huh?” Kageyama thought it was the most beautiful sound; prettier than the singing cicadas and the comforting hum of faraway cars. Prettier than rain on windows and oceans trapped in tiny shells. It was his favourite sound, he realised.

“I’m glad,” he hummed, “You’d never beat me, anyway.” Hinata jostled him with his shoulder, laughing again. Kageyama felt a smile tugging the corners of his lips into a grin. Hinata wished for the millionth time that Kageyama smiled like that more. People thought Kageyama’s smile was scary, but they hadn’t seen his real smile. That smile couldn’t hurt anyone.

“Let’s go home, Kageyama,” Hinata sighed finally, standing up to stretch out his limbs. Kageyama watched his lean muscles twitch beneath the thin fabric of his t-shirt, and relished in the flash of pale skin he caught a glimpse of when Hinata lifted his arms.

_Everything you’re seeing, you could be seeing for the last time_. Kageyeama remembered that. He would always remember that.

Hinata crouched to extend Kageyama a hand, who took it gratefully. Hinata’s hand was warm against his, and a little moist with perspiration. And then Kageyama was on his feet, and the warmth was soon gone, only the tingling sensation of what should have been left behind. How he longed to tug Hinata back towards him, pull him close, and never let go.

They walked back in silence, only the sweet noises of the summer night and the gentle metronome of their breathing filled the air. But they delighted in one another’s company, and Hinata’s house seemed to pop up in front of them far too quickly.

“So,” Hinata sighed, shoving his hand in his pocket and groping around for his keys.

“So,” Kageyama repeated, unable to restrain the smile that played on his lips.

“See you tomorrow?”

“See you tomorrow.”

Hinata turned to unlock his house door, quickly darting inside to replace it in his mother’s coat pocket and then sidestepping outside again. They were both reluctant to part.

“Goodbye, Tobio.”

Kageyama wasn’t sure what it was. Maybe it was the smell of the coming summer that lingered on the wind. Maybe it was his still tingling palm from where Hinata had clasped it earlier. Maybe it was the way Hinata's eyes were reflecting in the silver starlight, reminding him how he had looked up and saw Hinata everywhere. Or maybe, it was just the crumb of confidence that came from the way Hinata’s lips formed the word ‘ _Tobio_ ’, and how his face was full of fondness as he looked back at Kageyama. But in that moment, Kageyama forgot everything. He forgot his fears, and their responsibilities, and what he thought to be the truth. He forgot all tales of consequence and remembered only one thing:

_Everything you’re seeing, you could be seeing for the last time_.

His heart didn’t race. His head didn’t spin. He was calm as he took a purposeful step towards Hinata.

“Tobio, wha-”

Hinata was abruptly cut off by the pressure of Kageyama’s lips against his own. It wasn’t particularly romantic or anything. There were no fireworks, and no joyful tears. But there was Hinata’s peppermint breath. There was the click of teeth against teeth, and the pressure of Hinata’s round nose against Kageyama’s face. There were Hinata’s hands curled around his forearms, and Hinata standing on his tiptoes in a futile attempt to make up for their vast differences in height. There was Hinata, and he was everything Kageyama needed.

“I’m sorry…” Kageyama pulled back with a light gasp, but his hands did not fall from Hinata’s sides. “I had to do that, at least once.”

Hinata’s hands tightened around Kageyama’s forearms, forcing him to look up and meet his eyes. “Tobio,” he breathed, “do that again.”

Kageyama didn’t need telling twice. He ducked and brought his lips to Hinata’s once again, far gentler now. There was no clicking of teeth this time, but there was still the taste of peppermint. Hinata’s arms snaked around Kageyama’s neck so that his fingers could card through his silky black hair. It was as soft as he had imagined. He pulled himself up to press their chests together, and Kageyama easily stepped down from the porch so they were level. Heartbeat against heartbeat. This time, Hinata was the one to break away. He rested his hand over Kageyama’s collarbone, just to feel the gentle fluttering of his pulse. He wanted that to be a constant in his life.

Kageyama watched, his lips still parted slightly, breath causing small expels of air to dance along Hinata’s eyelids.

“I never thought that you…” Hinata frowned as he stumbled over his words.

“You never thought I was in love with you?” Kageyama suggested, giving Hinata one of his classically dubious looks. Hinata nodded. “I thought it was obvious, dumbass,” Kageyama’s voice was soft, despite the insult – which was far more fond by now, than anything else. Crimson spread over Hinata’s cheeks, which was very endearing to Kageyama, and he pressed a chaste kiss to Hinata’s orange crown, just above the purple bruise.

“How could I have not, Hinata Shouyou?”

“Tobio?” Hinata said, glancing back at the warm light that spilled from the Hinata household.

“Yeah?”

“See you tomorrow.”

“See you tomorrow.”

They both knew that from then on, those words would have a different meaning to them. See you tomorrow meant a lot more than goodbye. It meant ‘this is not goodbye’. It meant ‘I’ll stay beside you’. And, it meant – more importantly to them than it would to anyone else:

 

‘I can play with you again’.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gah, I cant believe this was all over in a week! I'm feeling some type of way. I hope you liked the ending, thank you again for all your support: particularly those who regularly left comments, you made me smile and laugh.
> 
> I hope you all have a lovely week: good luck to those doing exams (like myself) and enjoy a beautiful summer!   
> See you around in other fics, fanart, and haikyuu loveliness x


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